Meter Man

Meter Man

By Sarah Sexton

21.04.21

I could not hear the voice.  The meter man tried and stumbled and tried to get words out.  I imagined the voice on the other end.  I believe I have first-hand experience of being on the other end of the line.

It was dusk in England.  Night was knocking. The sky read continue to play but the watch said, come on, it’s damn late.  Meter man looked exhausted.  I heard him say dog-tired, I heard him say, please understand me.  His words spoke:

‘What I’m trying to say….is I am done with work.  I am asking you if you want me to get something to bring home.’  I’m certain he was checking on if his lady needed food or drink. 

I think his ass was getting chewed.  God love the meter man because certainly not everyone does.  It is not a glamorous line of duty. 

If you see a double yellow line, there is no parking.  A hot Mercedes sports car pulled up to that double yellow and to my surprise out popped the tallest man.  I thought, what a circus trick to fit in that car.   The tall man sprinted in his athletic gear.  I knew he thought he could park there quickly and return before there was a ticket.  He was sadly wrong.  You will be wrong every time if you think you can outrun the meter man. 

Before the tall man could sprint out of sight a meter man walked into my observational view.  The meter man documented all violations on the Mercedes, and a ticket was issued.  Next, the meter man met with another meter man at a bollard entry into city centre.  They stood with the gate keeper of that bollard.  The three rash men chatted. 

It took that tall man longer than he thought to return (I believe, because he was gone for a good chunk of time).  Tall man arrived back to his sports car, folded himself up and sped away.  Tall man revved his car engine to bark as loud as possible while flying a bird to the meter men. 

The meter man laughed.  Oh, look at that tall baby child.   I could see the rash men acting out their convo.  They do not care that tall man now has to pay an earned parking ticket on his hot Mercedes with his hot attitude. 

If I were to give advice to anyone parking in the city, it would be making sure you properly feed your meter.  Park legally.  The meter man likes to hand out tickets like perfume samples. 

I prefer actual perfume.