The Christmas Robe

The Christmas Robe

By Sarah Sexton

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30.01.21

Robe, Scene I

As the world turns, the pandemic grew. 

The pandemic was eating my daughters’ homework, reducing my family to tears, rare emotions and fried and baked my brain.  Parents sign up for all of everything when they become a parent.  A parent never actually sees what is on that list when we sign up.  One never really knows.  I never thought I would be in a pandemic, in England, in a row house, in a small house, helping my daughters manage school and emotions through a pandemic, but here the world turns. 

Small happenings are big stories in this house!  I think that has always been a formula to sharpen our humour.

The other day, I sat in front of my window working with Kate on maths.  Bang!  Helen ran to our window.  Caroline came running to our window.  Kate and I looked up through our window directly across the street to see our neighbours’ large front window.   

Have you ever just wished you could freeze time?  I have…. Christmas, recitals, sweet magical moments.  The truth is time freezes at awful moments.  When we gazed out, we saw a pigeon splattered on our neighbours’ front window.  The pigeon seemed suspended there like a sucker fish on glass.  The pigeon fell to the ground, into some garden we are unable to see.  Next, we saw the pigeon fly out of view, upper left.  Unbelievable!

Moments later, our neighbour rushed to his window.  Nothing to see (except my family watching him from our front window).  He opened his front door and looked up in the air and all around.  Like a perfect musical I flew open our front door and sang with my hands what happened.  Large hand gestures.  The bird (butterfly hands) flew into the window and BAM (slapping my hands hard), the bird fell (raindrop fingers lowering) then the bird flew away (butterfly hands, the pigeon of peace will go save the world now). 

Robe, Scene II

4 pm!  Thursday!  The school day is done!  We were all vegetables in the sitting room. 

Honk!  Honk!  HONK! HOOOONNNKKK!

Is that necessary?  I shot up anyways.  I thought it was amazon delivery.  I opened our front door.  Another neighbour was honking his horn at pedestrians to cross the sidewalk quicker in our carpark.  He looked at me, I closed the door and boy if ‘lockdown’ was a person.  Rough and irritated.

Veg time resumes. 

Robe, Scene III

When drama ensues, or weird sounds pop on our street, I have become that crazy neighbour that peers out her window.  I think I am hiding, but I need to be visible enough to have a view. 

I bought myself a Christmas robe two, maybe three years ago.  I never knew how funny it was until I saw the SNL skit for Christmas 2020.  I wear the robe often now, A LOT to warm up in the cold part of this pandemic. It is costume call.